Kalyana Mitras

The evolution of "when Pisces become death fish" is "when death fish meet Kalyana Mitras".

When Death Fish meet Kalyana Mitras, it really change? I do not know. While from feel somethings, know somethings, see somethings, enlightenment somethings and realize somethings, I start to look back my life.

When i look back is just like a lost life, what are me always chasing, what are me always running, what are me always aspecting, what the things i really want, what are me always busy for? In the lost life with no wisdom, it let me make many many many wrong and many many many made unnecessary things happen.

How i get all the somethings?

22th December 2009, 27th December 2009 and 10th January 2010, i cried. 3 time of crying origin from 3 different factors. I physical cried from the darkness, helpless and lost to the souls cried of ashamed , realize until the last time is physical and souls cried together to realize and touch. With a combo of karma to help me get out from the darkness. I stay in the air-raid shelter for how long time? I answer myself: i actually forget when i started to stay in the air-raid shelter.

After get out from the air-raid shelter, i start to reflect myself and take repent to the Buddha. I start the meditation and reflection everyday from 3rd January 2010 with all the Kalyana Mitras and end up with totally a different mood and really a very relaxing feeling in my life now. When getting into the real daily life first day which is 11th January 2010, i get into frustrated of somethings happen but after that day, my mind become much more stable.

Ms.XXX: You change a lot, you now getting very calm.

Old friend: You change to be very pure happiness, i feel it your happy is from the heart with no empty although something happen to you.

Ven. XXX: What happen to you?

I thinking: What happen to me? somethings getting wrong?

Ven. XXX: What make you like this?

I replied: What you means of "What"?

Ven. XXX: You register to learn chanting, meditation, memories the Puja, and those actually that you don't like.

I:

Ven. XXX: Look like your Bhiksuni life is getting near.

I: =.='''

Junior: Somethings wrong to you?

I: =.=???

Junior: You should get angry and explain your perception.

I: Is ok la. hahaha.

Junior: Walao eh !!! Can you don't so blur ar?? Can you give some correct feeling?

I: Tak apa la. Just let it.

Is it really change? I don't know. I just know that this year onward i getting into my own life, concentrate in my own souls with close myself to cultivation. That actually said by people before, its more freedom and more happy to stay own selves just like the laws or percepts, think and look surface that actually control people with no freedom, what also cannot do but actually follow the laws and percepts you getting more freedom with against you get in jail. When you live personal and live with own heart, will get into more freedom and happy.

Close=Open

Constraints=Freedom

End=Start