他走了，離開了。

他，他在我心中是個奇跡，

他，他在我心中是個證明，

他，他在我心中是位智者，

他，他在我心中是位清官，

他，他在我心中是激勵人。

一位讓我非常崇拜的人離開了，

一位頭腦充滿智慧的人離開了，

一位擁有瘋狂知識的人離開了，

一位殘缺但是很美的人離開了，

一位很強但會無助的人離開了。

他，他在我心中還沒有人可以取代他，

他，他在我心中還沒有人可以超越他，

他，他在我心中還沒有人可以打敗他，

他，他在我心中還沒有人可以欺負他，

他，他在我心中還沒有人可以忽略他。

一位讓我不及格但還開心接受的人，他走了，

一位沒有人發覺他的真正實力的人，他走了，

一位很低調很謙虛觀察也很好的人，他走了，

一位幽默瘋狂而有性格有實力的人，他走了，

一位重念他的科目也心甘情願的人，他走了。

離開了，就這樣離開了，

他走了，他真的就走了。

離開一個XXXXXXXXXXXXX地方，

走去一個可以讓他展現自己的地方。

他，他就是公認要求很高的人，

他，他就是公認知識超高的人，

他，他就是公認很了不起的人，

他，他就是公認頭腦厲害的人，

他，他就是公認智慧多的老師。

感覺這個他越像佛陀，可是他是一名讓我不及格，要重念他科目的老師，

感覺寫到好像要哀悼，其實他只是離開這件學院，到他可以滿足的地方。

我說的他就是Mr. Chia Yok Ching，我的Malaysian Studies，第一次失敗了，但重念也感到心甘情願，

我說的他就是Mr. Chia Yok Ching，我的Moral Studies老師，第一次險過了，反而覺得有不心甘情願，

我說的他就是Mr. Chia Yok Ching，重拿Malaysian Studies，第二次成功了，也為他為自己創下紀錄。

我會記得他，

我會想念他，

我會聯絡他，

我會再找他，

我會感謝他。

最近我跟天花板談戀愛

最近我跟天花板談戀愛，談得很夜。

最近我跟思想作了交談，交了很夜。

最近我跟誰活腦有會議，商討很久。

哎呀！到底是失眠還是不是失眠？感覺有睡，又感覺沒睡！到底是睡還是沒睡？

心情開始繁重起來了

心情開始壓力起來了

心情開始無奈起來了

不錯，昨天睡得很好！今天整理完很多東西。 哈！ 開心！

不錯的覺悟

家家有本難念的經，

你看我好，我看你好；

你說我好，我說你好；

你妒忌我，我妒忌你；

結果，

你嫌棄他，他嫌棄你；

你討厭他，他討厭你；

你生氣他，他生氣你；

就這樣，

你駡他，他駡你；

你講他，他講你；

幾米《我的心中每天開出一朵花》第17章

人不是鱼，怎会了解鱼的忧愁。

鱼不是鸟，怎会了解鸟的快乐。

鸟不是人，怎会了解人的荒唐。

人不是鸟，怎会了解鸟的自由。

鸟不是鱼，怎会了解鱼的深沉。

鱼不是人，怎会了解人的幼稚。

你不是我，怎会了解我。

我學會一件事：

誰都不能投訴誰，

誰都不能批評誰，

誰都不能修改誰，

誰都不能改變誰，

誰都不要在乎誰，

管好自己，

照顧自己，

檢討自己，

反省自己，

提升自己。

*感覺好好。哈！

Kalyana Mitras

The evolution of "when Pisces become death fish" is "when death fish meet Kalyana Mitras".

When Death Fish meet Kalyana Mitras, it really change? I do not know. While from feel somethings, know somethings, see somethings, enlightenment somethings and realize somethings, I start to look back my life.

When i look back is just like a lost life, what are me always chasing, what are me always running, what are me always aspecting, what the things i really want, what are me always busy for? In the lost life with no wisdom, it let me make many many many wrong and many many many made unnecessary things happen.

How i get all the somethings?

22th December 2009, 27th December 2009 and 10th January 2010, i cried. 3 time of crying origin from 3 different factors. I physical cried from the darkness, helpless and lost to the souls cried of ashamed , realize until the last time is physical and souls cried together to realize and touch. With a combo of karma to help me get out from the darkness. I stay in the air-raid shelter for how long time? I answer myself: i actually forget when i started to stay in the air-raid shelter.

After get out from the air-raid shelter, i start to reflect myself and take repent to the Buddha. I start the meditation and reflection everyday from 3rd January 2010 with all the Kalyana Mitras and end up with totally a different mood and really a very relaxing feeling in my life now. When getting into the real daily life first day which is 11th January 2010, i get into frustrated of somethings happen but after that day, my mind become much more stable.

Ms.XXX: You change a lot, you now getting very calm.

Old friend: You change to be very pure happiness, i feel it your happy is from the heart with no empty although something happen to you.

Ven. XXX: What happen to you?

I thinking: What happen to me? somethings getting wrong?

Ven. XXX: What make you like this?

I replied: What you means of "What"?

Ven. XXX: You register to learn chanting, meditation, memories the Puja, and those actually that you don't like.

I:

Ven. XXX: Look like your Bhiksuni life is getting near.

I: =.='''

Junior: Somethings wrong to you?

I: =.=???

Junior: You should get angry and explain your perception.

I: Is ok la. hahaha.

Junior: Walao eh !!! Can you don't so blur ar?? Can you give some correct feeling?

I: Tak apa la. Just let it.

Is it really change? I don't know. I just know that this year onward i getting into my own life, concentrate in my own souls with close myself to cultivation. That actually said by people before, its more freedom and more happy to stay own selves just like the laws or percepts, think and look surface that actually control people with no freedom, what also cannot do but actually follow the laws and percepts you getting more freedom with against you get in jail. When you live personal and live with own heart, will get into more freedom and happy.

Close=Open

Constraints=Freedom

End=Start